The tongue is not only in the cheek but it has bored right through the cheek, burst out of the face and has signed on to a whimsical Zucker Brothers film.

It is possible for violence to be fun, remember? That's basically written on the archway leading into Video Game Town, and Blood Dragon opening with a helicopter minigun sequence to the sound of 'Long Tall Sally' by Little Richard is probably one of the most efficient openings I've ever seen in terms of laying out one's intentions. You know what, as much as I like games like Spec Ops: The Line, there's a danger of video games starting to take themselves a bit too seriously, with all these gritty character arcs and bombastic orchestral soundtracks playing as they very earnestly and dramatically raise their mounted taint periscopes to gaze up their own bumholes. Presently, however, retail releases are having a little sleepy time after the big spunky blow-out of Quarter 1, so let's ride the wave of the future and motherfuckin' download some shit, starting with Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon! You might as well accept that some people are always gonna want physical copies of games, if only because deleting a game just doesn't give you the same sense of closure as microwaving it. 'Okay, I guess we'll stock it on this shelf here, behind a rack of Nancy Drew hidden object games and a series of rotating knives!'Ĭome on, guys, learn to live with each other. 'Also we're designing future console hardware so that if you put a pre-owned game in it, it will catch fire and launch hot acid at your eyeballs.' 'What was that about a new console?', go the game retailers. 'Retail? Pah! Direct download is what all the cool kids use!', cry the game publishers.

The relationship between retailers and game publishers reminds me of the British coalition government they're like two people who have to work together but you can tell from their toothy smiles and firm handshakes that both are waiting for the other to flinch, just for an instant, so that they can rip off their shirts and start clawing for the eyeballs. This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. Your Game Music is Bland and You Should Feel Bad

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